Empty Words from an Empty Head

The New Tumblrite’s Guide To The Modern Hellsite

(Or: So You’re New In Town, Here’s What You Need To Know)

This post aims to be a guide for the new user to help them understand the tumblr culture. Don’t worry, new user—we’ll have you blogging like a native in no time!

I’m putting the rest of this post under what’s known as a “readmore” (because you have to click to read more, and it says so), which had a few benefits and drawbacks. It prevents the post from being extremely long on people’s dashboards, and any edits will be consistent across all versions because it will link to the post on my own blog, but because it’s on my blog, it will break if I ever change my url (barring an update that changes or has changed this—it can be hard to keep up with the actual mechanics of the site sometimes)

Keep reading

the44th:

cute-catts:

(via catcomixzstudios)

chechula:

first drawing of 2025! This year I am doing animation full-time until the end of April, and already I do not have much power for other drawings x_x
But I will try to experiment with a more sketchy style! So here is Fellowship doodle ♥

(via bastionkeeper)

coffebits:

I just couldn’t resist the urge to draw something based on this by @samthecookielord 😂 Isn’t that comforting 😂

(via deebax)

frailbug:

(via bastionkeeper)

animate-mush:

Dracula: I have crossed oceans of time to find you - you are the reincarnation of my own beloved wife!

Mina: I see. And we got married when exactly?

Dracula: uhhhhhhh mid 1400s I think? It’s been like 500 years

Mina: cool. And then I …died, is that right?

Dracula: it destroyed me! But you are alive now!

Mina: and then - let me make sure I’m following - then you died also?

Dracula: to arise as you see me now - immortal Lord of Darkness!

Mina: right. But, technically speaking, you did die first, right? And continue to be dead at this time? Like, medically speaking?

Dracula: I am the Great Undead who-

Mina: do you have a heartbeat?

Dracula: I no longer require such things

Mina: so I am the living wife of a dead husband, is that correct?

Dracula: in your mortal pedestrian terms - but I shall

Mina: uh huh. Let me consult my lawyer. Darling, what is the legal status of the living wife of a dead husband?

Jonathan: according to the Widows & Orphans act, the living wife of a dead husband is defined as a widow

Mina: and I think I heard somewhere that a widow is at liberty to marry again

Jonathan: according to English common law, with biblical precedent, that is correct

Mina: cool. I choose this guy.

Jonathan: (yippee)

Mina: I believe I am also entitled to half his stuff via intestate succession?

Jonathan: yes that is correct, the remainder to be equitably divided between yourself and any other heirs of his body

Mina: cool. Did we have kids?

Dracula: well no but -

Mina: great. I always wanted a Castle

(via thebibliosphere)

davidaugust:

ALT

This sounds fun. 🏦

(via rockshitty)

segasister:

randomslasher:

weaselle:

charlesoberonn:

One quiet day on the farm, the Little Red Hen found some wheat seeds and decided to make bread.

“Who will help me plant these seeds?” the Little Red Hen asked.

“I would.” said the Horse “But I’m a workhorse, and I’m too busy moving carts around.”

And so the Little Red Hen planted the seeds by herself. And they grew into bountiful golden crops.

“Who will help me harvest the wheat?” the Little Red Hen asked.

“I would.” said the Dog “But I’m a guarddog, and I’m too busy keeping away burglars and predators.”

And so the Little Red Hen harvested the wheat herself and made it into flour.

“Who will help me bake the flour?” the Little Red Hen asked.

“I would.” said the Pig “But I’m a mother of 5 newborn piglets, and I’m too busy taking care of my young.”

And so the Little Red Hen baked the bread herself into twenty beautiful loaves.

“Who will help me eat the bread?” the Little Red Hen asked.

“We would.” said the Farm Animals. “But we’re ashamed, for we didn’t do anything to make the bread.”

“Nonsense!” said the Little Red Hen. “You, Horse, helped move around the stones that built my oven. You, Dog, kept me safe while I worked. And you, Pig, are raising a new generation of Farm Animals, who will too contribute to our Farm one day. You’ve all helped me so much by simply being you.”

“Besides,” the Little Red Hen added. “I couldn’t possibly eat all the loaves on my own, most of them would go to waste. Come, eat with me.”

And so the Little Red Hen and the Farm Animals ate the bread together. And all saw their own, and each other’s, worth.

better

This healed a very old wound

Bringing this out of the tags!

(via writemeariver42)

angel-derangement:

angel-derangement:

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

(via rockshitty)

cognitivediscretion:

we need to bring back mage hawke’s ability to straight up beat the fuck out of enemies with ur staff when they get into melee range like…..you’re not coming near me lmfao

(via bastionkeeper)

evil-scientist:

new stimtoy idea: 80s-90s anime sci-fi cockpit

Put me in one of these bad boys and I will be entertained for hours

(via bastionkeeper)